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Piracy Mechanics#

Insult sword fighting mechanics for piracy totally ripped off from Monkey Island 3 (but they never played it). Played in 31-story-of-kenny.

Setup#

  • Rottingham introduced in passing by other sailors.
  • He boards them to steal Pendle if he's kept golden.
  • He boards them to steal pendle.

Justification for no magic#

  • Wobbly decks? Past ley lines? Boats themselves contain so much.
  • Maybe magic actually works and it's a manner of honour amongst thieves.
  • If they fight dirty war will break out and the thieves always has plenty of people

Justification for undefined money#

It's hard to put my finger on, but I know a X FEARSOME PIRATE's hull full of money when I see one.

Whale Start Scene#

Sailors look out at a serene summers day:

  • Ahh, the sea.
  • Aye the sea.
  • Makes you glad to be alive!

ship following

  • Feel that salty spray.
  • The sunlight's sparkling off the bay.
  • What a glorious, sea-faring day!

pirate ship

  • Hey!
  • Look guys!
  • A whale!
  • Where? Where?

ship gaining

  • Is that a Right whale?
  • No no lad.

boarding

  • It is a member of the cetus suborder mysticeti though
  • I think you're right.

during talks 1

  • Oooh! Look! It's breaching!
  • Ooooh! Ah!
  • That wale must be thirty point five meters!
  • ...and weigh two-hundred metric tons!

Rottingham#

  • Well, well...
  • I've come for your map to the fabled Blood Island gold.
  • Then I'll find the diamond you mentioned.
  • It will make a fine paperweight for my escritoire.
  • Then, I'll have to take it from you by force.
  • You know of course, that in a swordfight, a sharp with is more important than a sharp blade.
  • On the sea, we fight it a little differently.
  • On the sea, all your insults and threats have to.. Rhyme.
  • So when I say, "Every enemy I've met, I've annihilated!"… you say?
  • …
  • No! You say, With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.
  • Let's try that again shall we.
  • You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.
  • I'm waiting...
  • Just as I thought. You're an amateur at sea.

Wins
As soon as I'm through pirating these waters, it's off to Blood Island.

Excuses#

It was a rousing battle. Argh, and it reminds me of a song.

Captaining#

What type of captain are you?
- Some prefer complete control of the ship. Other prefer to concentrate more on the thiking aspects of captaining.
- A captain who's a man of action will undoubtedly have a much more difficult time of defeating other scoundrels in the sea in the fast paced realm of ship to ship combat.
- The more academic captain will find the other pirate vessels he meets to be less aggressive, and therefore, far easier and quicker to defeat in combat.

So, which type of captain be ye?
Challenging ship combat it is.

  • If yer hoping of defeating that scallywag rottingham ship to ship, we'll be needing some bigger cannons.
  • So lad, I say we tackle some of the wee pirates that prowl these waters.
  • We'll seize their treasure and use it to buy new weaponry back at Waterdeep.

Stuff#

One guy swinging from a line in the mast. WEE

Combat#

Either skip or do something that lets them help with magic?
If they can do magic, then what's the point of the cannons?
They improve dmg:

  • 10 std -> 20 buddy -> 30 ouch -> 40 holemaker -> 50 paingiver -> 60 massacre -> 70 T47
  • Corr ship hp (assuming reasonable to kill in 5 hits ← 2 rounds with 3 cannons with good aim):
  • 50 not fearsome -> 100 semi -> 150 mildly -> 200 pretty -> 250 fearsome -> 300 really -> 350 rotting

So combat is a thing, they can move.
Spice: emergency manouvers. Waves.

Boarding#

They introduce themselves.
- If you're looking for a fight you've got one.
- I'll see you clapped in irons, first!
- Get off my ship you sea-slug.
- What ye be wantin?
- I don't have any treasure you know.
- Even though I'd normally lie to you, I'm not lying now.
- Practice again?

Coming up with insults#

Will break rottingham table. So cross of the rottingham respective insult if you do that! Otherwise it won't make sense!
https://monkeyisland.fandom.com/wiki/Insult_Sword_Fighting

Loosing#

  • If we had treasure, don't you think I'd spend it before grappling with the likes of you?
  • Aye, I suppose you would. Never mind then.
  • Guess you need more practice with the sword fighting stuff.
  • Give me your treasure. Ya reeking, musty , stench-soaked freebooter.
  • I fancy ye have treasure. Hand it over. (Arr...)
  • Give me yer treasure you sea skunk.

Failing responses#

  • I'm shaking, I'm shaking!
  • Oh, yeah!
  • I am rubber, you are glue!

Responses to failures#

Hah, is that the best you can come up with?

Winning#

Treasure: "I didn't want it anyway. It got that horrible curse (only kidding)."
The treasure is yours...
"We're loaded with booty!"
Buy cannon upgrades every time.

Treasure hull#

Look at all that booty.
It's so full I couldn’t even walk down there.

Progression#

Sell booty (one unit at a time to kenny, and level up cannon to tackle better pirates)

Pirate Levels#

  • Really Not Fearsome Pirate
  • Semi-Fearsome Pirate
  • Mildly Fearsome Pirate
  • Pretty Fearsome Pirate
  • Fearsome Pirate
  • Really Fearsome Pirate

RE: Rottingham#

  • Well well well. Look what's washed up on my deck. Fine carpets and golden decorations.
  • I have never lost a melee.
  • Sacre bleu. I cannot believe it. I have been defeated in battle!
  • You win! You win! You'll get your X back.
  • All right all right. I give up already.
  • Mercy. I beg you. No more insults. Please.
  • AHHHHHH.